IKEA
We went to ikea yesterday and got a Birtby and a Strind. That's a wall unit and a coffee table to you and me. We had to pick something we could pronounce, some items take about half a day to get your tongue around. Then another half a day to find. For example the Effektiv or the Tryggve, and who would buy a chair called Klappe? I wouldn't. I don't care how good it is .
This is how the store works. You park your car about half a mile away, walk in the entrance via a revolving door with at least 50 or more people who could if they wanted to wait for the next empty section of the revolving door rather than cram in next to you. You are then greeted by stairs, toilets, (which you better use before you go in, because its a long time before you can get out). And a type of ball pond to throw your kids in before your go it alone in the store maze.
Once upstairs ignore the yellow bags ( you can pick one of them up later) pick up a short pencil and an order piece of paper to write down the unpronounceable names (Tip; take pencil home). Then take a free paper ruler to roll up while you are walking around or you could also use it to measure things. People do that. Now you are set.
The key thing is to follow the arrows along the floor. If you deviate off the arrows to look at Klapp chairs for example be prepared to get lost. And don't be surprised if you end up near the revolving door again. After you have spent around 15 hours wandering aimlessly around you come to the restaurant ( smokers don't bother), where you can get fish and skinny chips or some funny looking meatballs in nordic sauce. I think its called Crap in ikea language.
The next obstacle is the Pick up Zone. Grab yourself a flat trolley. Note: if you put anything on it you are guaranteed to bash your shins each time you take a step, so walk slow with small steps to try and avoid this. Another method of pushing it, is to lean over at about 90 degrees with your chest and head parrallel to the arrowed floor. Not so good for the back, but it seems to work ok. You will see hundreds of aisles the size of mountains spread out before you. Now go and find your Effektiv you wrote down with your short pencil.You might find that when you get to the appropiate place where your item should be, the space may be empty and out of bloody stock. ( This happened to us of course). Then you can swear a lot and go home. Please also note, your item may come in 50 or more parts. Grrrrrrr. If you are lucky enough to get what you wrote down, go to the till and stand in line. This will give you time to rub your shins and look for bruises. Or rub your back if you chose the 90 degree option. Now empty your yellow bag and pick up a blue one which they sell at a very reasonable price ( ideal to take home and use as a laundry bag). And if you use a credit card they charge you 70p extra. Bloody cheek!
Here is a tip for cutting Ikea shopping time down fron 15 hours to about 15 mins.
Choose what you want from an Ikea book, you can pick them up near the child and ball pond mix. Do not go in the entrance. Go in the exit. walk the wrong way through the tills and you will arrive at the pick up stock hall. Pick up your item and and turn around and go the right way through the tills again. Sorted! OO i nearly forgot. Drive half way home, turn around and go back and pick up your kids from ball pond, if you left any there that is.
This is how the store works. You park your car about half a mile away, walk in the entrance via a revolving door with at least 50 or more people who could if they wanted to wait for the next empty section of the revolving door rather than cram in next to you. You are then greeted by stairs, toilets, (which you better use before you go in, because its a long time before you can get out). And a type of ball pond to throw your kids in before your go it alone in the store maze.
Once upstairs ignore the yellow bags ( you can pick one of them up later) pick up a short pencil and an order piece of paper to write down the unpronounceable names (Tip; take pencil home). Then take a free paper ruler to roll up while you are walking around or you could also use it to measure things. People do that. Now you are set.
The key thing is to follow the arrows along the floor. If you deviate off the arrows to look at Klapp chairs for example be prepared to get lost. And don't be surprised if you end up near the revolving door again. After you have spent around 15 hours wandering aimlessly around you come to the restaurant ( smokers don't bother), where you can get fish and skinny chips or some funny looking meatballs in nordic sauce. I think its called Crap in ikea language.
The next obstacle is the Pick up Zone. Grab yourself a flat trolley. Note: if you put anything on it you are guaranteed to bash your shins each time you take a step, so walk slow with small steps to try and avoid this. Another method of pushing it, is to lean over at about 90 degrees with your chest and head parrallel to the arrowed floor. Not so good for the back, but it seems to work ok. You will see hundreds of aisles the size of mountains spread out before you. Now go and find your Effektiv you wrote down with your short pencil.You might find that when you get to the appropiate place where your item should be, the space may be empty and out of bloody stock. ( This happened to us of course). Then you can swear a lot and go home. Please also note, your item may come in 50 or more parts. Grrrrrrr. If you are lucky enough to get what you wrote down, go to the till and stand in line. This will give you time to rub your shins and look for bruises. Or rub your back if you chose the 90 degree option. Now empty your yellow bag and pick up a blue one which they sell at a very reasonable price ( ideal to take home and use as a laundry bag). And if you use a credit card they charge you 70p extra. Bloody cheek!
Here is a tip for cutting Ikea shopping time down fron 15 hours to about 15 mins.
Choose what you want from an Ikea book, you can pick them up near the child and ball pond mix. Do not go in the entrance. Go in the exit. walk the wrong way through the tills and you will arrive at the pick up stock hall. Pick up your item and and turn around and go the right way through the tills again. Sorted! OO i nearly forgot. Drive half way home, turn around and go back and pick up your kids from ball pond, if you left any there that is.
posted by Hammo at 7:50 AM
1 Comments:
Hi Thanks for you comment on my blog glad you like the photos.
I should post new photos weekly so have a wander over there form time to time.
Was there anything you particularl liked??
I wouldent set foot ikea. Tesco is bad enough total mad house but its that or starve!
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