oooo just reading back.IKEA AND FAME

Ok , Ok , i havent been on here for bloody ages and then i come on two days in a row. That blooger fame thing. That London ambulance random act blooger, He is one of our lot.The london Ambulance person. I was just thinking about his fame . I Just had a look on Amazon for his book, you can get if for a couple of quid. Perhaps he is not getting as rich as i thought. Dont think i will ever get a book publish, well, for a couple of quid i might.

Thought i would give u an anbulance fact . You might find it interesting or not. November 2007 was the Busiest month ever for the London Ambulance in the history of the World.There you go, thats all im going to say about the LAS today.

I was reading through my blog and i read the Ikea bit again. And i have had another thought about that. The Names for things, ie, strind and funny names with dots over the words for simple items like spoon. I know its a swedish company but you would think they would alter the names just a bit so they resemble the item . i have a few ideas for IKEA. Stool should be renamed Stit stooble. A table renamed something like Tiblod Grub. Good idea EH!

Im Back can i be famous too...Just give me the money

HI.. They are all at it then.. These now famous bloggers. The latest blogger is Girl with a one track mind. I dont want to be famous but the money would be nice. Dont think i will be famous writing my off the wall in my head thoughts. I am sorry to dissapoint all but i just cant write about that paramedic thing. I will leave that to random acts blogger and the Like. Dont get me wrong , i love the job most of the time but .. but .. but....I just dont think its fcking interesting writing about im a paramedic doing jobs. well its not to me. Anyway i will just waffle on about things and the like. see you all soon.

Knife Fork Spoon

Lynn changed our cutlery drawer about 9 months ago. The order of the cutlery in the drawer working from Right to left was Knife Spoon Fork. I want You just change your drawer round for a couple af months and see if you can get used to it. I couldn't. Every time I washed up and put the cutlery away I had to think. Being used to knife fork spoon for years it is so difficult to place them in the drawer without thinking where they go. In your head you have to repeat Knife Spoon Fork every time you place one of these in the drawer. YES that's every bloody time. Before when it was in the right order, I didn't think about it at all. Well strange eh. So I want you all to try it and see works for yout. It wont you Know.

How to replace a council lampost

Sorry not been on here for a while. If no bugger reads it then it doesn't matter I suppose.

We have a new Street Lampost outside our house now. Exciting Eh! You thought it would be quite straight forward job pulling out the old one and fitting a new one. Well in fact that's not the case. Its a very long complicated procedure carried out by the Local Council.

This is how they do it. I know cos I have been keeping a close eye on this wonder of council Lampost replacement method.
They turn up in a big lorry. Usually two workers on board. One gets out a big diamond metal cutter, starts it up. The other disconnects the power.They cut it about 4 feet from the ground. When they are almost through they hang on to it and give it a pull until it snaps off. They load it on their lorry and off they go.

Then the next night its dark outside your house because the lampost has gone. Then the next day and the next and the next. A few weeks later when your eyes have adjusted to the pitch black and you have tripped over the kerb a few dozen times the council arrive again and put in a new lampost. They don't pull up the remains of the old one and put it in the original hole, Oh no. They have a new hole team that make a new one about 4 feet away from the original.

You then expect the new light to work. No chance there. You have to look at the new one and the chopped one for a few months yet. The council switching on team and the pulling out the chopped off one must be on a long holiday cos its a long wait. I got excited one day as the wire man was doing things inside it for a while. But we still had to wait a couple more months.

It works now and the old one has been dug up and holes filled. I had forgotten how handy a lampost is. Easy eh! Told you it was a complicated business.

Leave that and take this

Lynns family have a habit of exchanging goods on every family visit. Does your family do this ?

whenever we visit one of the family we have take something over to them. And they always give us something in exchange to bring back. Its a thing they have to do. Its a continuous cycle that never seems to be broken.

The items I am talking about can be anything from a small scrap of paper that has something very interesting written on it. Or maybe a small potted plant. Or a few pennies contained inside a clear see through bank money bag. This may also contain a post it note describing the amount in the bag. For example. Mum £1.21
You must place them ready for collection and delivery in a visible place in your home. For example on top of the fridge seems to be the ideal place in ours. The choice of course is up to you.If you are giving change back for some item that you have been asked to get for them, then this must be packaged correctly.
The correct method of packaging is as follows. Small potted plants can stand alone in their own containers. If you have many plants or cuttings to exchange then they can be contained in a black bin bag. Even a washing up bowl or bucket will do. Plants seem to be hard to label sodon'tt give the wrong plant to the wrong relative because it may end up on your fridge being re labeledd, or even planted in the wrong garden. Money must always be in a small see through bank bag with a post it note inside. This is a must. Any other items must be contained in a supermarket bag when storing for collection, the end of the bag must be tucked under. This is for neatness of course.

I am popping round Lynns mums today.Ii was going to go round with nothing just to be arebell but on top of our fridge there is a saw in a bag belonging to Lynns dad staring . I will have to take it . I will let you no ifIi bring anything back.

Ambulance work woes

Not been on here for a while. I told you couldn't keep it up every day. I have a few things to write about so I thought I would come back here.

Its official. The London Ambulance service has spent too much money. So what are they going to do? They are going to cut overtime down to a bear minimum for the next two months. That's your pay packet for Christmas of course. This means that ambulances will not get covered. It will be busier for the crews that are working, runninning on call after call that have delays of an hour or more because there are no ambulances to send.

The performance for the service is good at the moment for this reason they know that they can underperform for a couple of months. They also know that the crews will bugger them up on purpose because overtime has stopped. How much this will effect their annual figures they are not sure. We will see eh!

I also read a bulletin the other day from the LAS stating how we can improve patient care and performance. I am sure it made a few people smirk in disgust as they read it. Leave ambulances empty with no crews for a couple of months that should do it eh!

I was also speaking to a paramedic who works full time on the LAS bank. He qualified through university. He applied for a job n the LAS but failed the interview. But works full time doing bank shifts. So let me get this clear. They are saying he is not good enough to work for the LAS but he can work full time doing shifts for the service on bank. Whats that all about eh! He was also upset when he phoned up for shifts for next week. They told him that they are not giving bank staff any shifts until further notice. He wasnt happy. He has no other income, has a wife and a mortgage . I put him on to someone who does private work, that might help him.

IKEA

We went to ikea yesterday and got a Birtby and a Strind. That's a wall unit and a coffee table to you and me. We had to pick something we could pronounce, some items take about half a day to get your tongue around. Then another half a day to find. For example the Effektiv or the Tryggve, and who would buy a chair called Klappe? I wouldn't. I don't care how good it is .

This is how the store works. You park your car about half a mile away, walk in the entrance via a revolving door with at least 50 or more people who could if they wanted to wait for the next empty section of the revolving door rather than cram in next to you. You are then greeted by stairs, toilets, (which you better use before you go in, because its a long time before you can get out). And a type of ball pond to throw your kids in before your go it alone in the store maze.

Once upstairs ignore the yellow bags ( you can pick one of them up later) pick up a short pencil and an order piece of paper to write down the unpronounceable names (Tip; take pencil home). Then take a free paper ruler to roll up while you are walking around or you could also use it to measure things. People do that. Now you are set.

The key thing is to follow the arrows along the floor. If you deviate off the arrows to look at Klapp chairs for example be prepared to get lost. And don't be surprised if you end up near the revolving door again. After you have spent around 15 hours wandering aimlessly around you come to the restaurant ( smokers don't bother), where you can get fish and skinny chips or some funny looking meatballs in nordic sauce. I think its called Crap in ikea language.

The next obstacle is the Pick up Zone. Grab yourself a flat trolley. Note: if you put anything on it you are guaranteed to bash your shins each time you take a step, so walk slow with small steps to try and avoid this. Another method of pushing it, is to lean over at about 90 degrees with your chest and head parrallel to the arrowed floor. Not so good for the back, but it seems to work ok. You will see hundreds of aisles the size of mountains spread out before you. Now go and find your Effektiv you wrote down with your short pencil.You might find that when you get to the appropiate place where your item should be, the space may be empty and out of bloody stock. ( This happened to us of course). Then you can swear a lot and go home. Please also note, your item may come in 50 or more parts. Grrrrrrr. If you are lucky enough to get what you wrote down, go to the till and stand in line. This will give you time to rub your shins and look for bruises. Or rub your back if you chose the 90 degree option. Now empty your yellow bag and pick up a blue one which they sell at a very reasonable price ( ideal to take home and use as a laundry bag). And if you use a credit card they charge you 70p extra. Bloody cheek!

Here is a tip for cutting Ikea shopping time down fron 15 hours to about 15 mins.
Choose what you want from an Ikea book, you can pick them up near the child and ball pond mix. Do not go in the entrance. Go in the exit. walk the wrong way through the tills and you will arrive at the pick up stock hall. Pick up your item and and turn around and go the right way through the tills again. Sorted! OO i nearly forgot. Drive half way home, turn around and go back and pick up your kids from ball pond, if you left any there that is.